Notes on talk: Emotional Intelligence for Entrepreneurs - Daire Coffey
The topic of 'Emotional Intelligence', that Daire Coffey delivered at the Enterprise Network for Women was enthusiastically received. Daire trains and coaches both corporates and SMEs in this area and is a member of the DCEB Mentor Panel.
There are various definitions of Emotional Intelligence (EQ:)
‘Recognising feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and managing our emotions well in ourselves and our relationships’ Daniel Goleman
‘Streetwiseness’
or everyone’s favourite: Advanced Commonsense!
EQ came to be recognised during the 1980s and Daniel Goleman’s popularised the concept,. ‘EQ – why it can matter more than IQ”.
This is not about personality which is fixed as is IQ. EQ can be developed. EQ is now seen as being of critical importance in business as a result of changing environment, globalisation, commuting, working parents, knowledge economy. It is really important now to be able to manage change.
According to Goleman while EQ is the key success factor for most jobs( 66% compared to 33% IQ), EQ is even more critical for leadership (85% to 15% for IQ).
Reubon BarOn developed an assessment framework for EQ:
Intrapersonal
Emotional Self-Awareness
How good are you at tuning into and expressing your feelings? “How do I feel and why?” 60,000 thoughts per day – important to monitor these.
Assertiveness
Very important especially for women. The ability to say no/yes without being afraid of causing offense. Make points strongly in a non aggressive way.
Self-Actualization
Being the best that you can be. Having passion about what you do. Looking to be the best. If low here, you may be in wrong career.
Self-Regard
About knowing your strengths – being comfortable in your own skin and accepting what you can’t control.
Independence
Be responsible for your own decisions, Don’t depend on other people to make them.
Interpersonal Empathy
Understanding others. Most communication is through body language and tone – there is a skill in picking this up. Building rapport is important. Women often better at this.
Social Responsibility
How are you contributing to your community? Are you giving back? Do you have a feeling of belonging?
Interpersonal Relationships
Good at developing and maintaining relationships? Able so share feelings and give and receive affection?
Adaptability
This is generally about ability to manage change. Faced with many challenges can you respond by proactively developing solutions, carrying out reality resting and being flexible?
Stress Management Stress Tolerance
How resilient are you to managing stress?
Impulse Control
Do you make decisions too quickly? You need to resist temptation. If low here, may have anger issues.
General Mood Happiness
How satisfied you are with your life, your ability to take pleasure in small things. Look up Martin Seligman’s http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ - you can measure your level of happiness.
Optimism
You can learn to be optimistic, to respond to challenges in a positive way. Optimistic people tend to be healthier.
EQ peaks at age 40-50 and adaptability decreases after 50 when aspects such as adaptability can decline. Entrepreneurs tend to be strongest on optimism and passion and weakest on impulse control.
Men and women have the same overall levels of EQ but women score higher on Empathy and Interpersonal Relationships. Men score higher on Self Regard and Stress Management.
Tips for Increasing your Emotional Intelligence
1. Know your EQ strengths and development areas – play to your strengths.
2. Set clear realistic yet challenging goals. Write down and visualise – you’re more likely to achieve them.
3. Look at setbacks as key learning opportunities.
4. Develop networks, strategic partnerships
5. Observe, ask and learn from the best. Don’t be afraid to phone successful people in your sector or related area if you have questions.
6. Be Flexible!
7. Immerse yourself in learning
8. Schedule time for Reflection and Relaxation
9. Wherever you are, ‘be there’ totally
10. Remember that balance is key
The best way to set about improving your EQ is to focus on a small number of areas in which you want to improve.
Daire recommended a number of books. I noted the following two:
Steven Stein, Ph.D. The EQ Edge : Emotional Intelligence and Your Success”
Daniel Goleman “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”
Daire also mentioned Dr Deepak Chopra as an inspirational thinker.